so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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