i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
