i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
