Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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