I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
