They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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