new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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