I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
