Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
