I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize