just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
