Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
