My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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