I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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