Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
