if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
