Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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