Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
