Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
