I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
