What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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