You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
