put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
