I'm sorry my penis didn't work
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you never un-have a 4some
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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