Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
