I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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