yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
