I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
