so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
