He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
