So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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