ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If I die, sorry about rent.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
