he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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