Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize