I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize