pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Randomize
