he thought i was a dude.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
