im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
