Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
