dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
