i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
