wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
