Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
