i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
