Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
