I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
