I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
