p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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