just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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