I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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