Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
