I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
