i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
