I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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