You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize