I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
