is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
