he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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