I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this is an emotional support booty call
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize