My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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