we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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